the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
