I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
