I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
