If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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