Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
