I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
