I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize