Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
