i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
