my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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