i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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