My hand turned me down
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
