We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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