used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
