Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
