What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
home. puking in laundry basket.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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