I just pynch a tree in the face
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
