i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
