But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
