Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize