hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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