these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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