If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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