I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize