I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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