i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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