dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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