I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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