he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
