he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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