Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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