what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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