your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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