I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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