I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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