the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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