I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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