By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
