Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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