it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
