Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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