I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
