Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Randomize
