You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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