she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone signed my nipple.
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