I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
