Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
