I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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