I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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