This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
