I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
