Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize