iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
