When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
