Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
