she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
