Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
