Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
