I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
