I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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