I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
