It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
