Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
